Love will never be seen the same way amongst everyone. If people can marry for any reason, people can love for any reason as well. But the path of one choosing their lover can somewhat be defined starting from a young age. The way a child perceived their parents love affects the way they treat their future lover because it causes them to think that love is supposed to be a certain way in order for it to be labeled as love. Pozdyshev’s childhood experiences has deeply affected his relationship with women and causes him to murder his wife.

Pozdnyshev’s view towards women became tainted during his youth. “I had not yet known any woman, but, like all the unfortunate children of our class, I was no longer an innocent boy” (Tolstoy 170). When he still went to grammar school, his mind became corrupted with perverted thoughts and whatnot. It started off by him smoking and drinking which then led to him losing his virginity at a young age. There was even a point where he would pay prostitutes to satisfy his sexual needs. “Yes, my natural, simple relationship with women was spoilt forever. From that time I have not had, and could not have, pure relations with women. I had become what is called a libertine” (172). He was ashamed and confused on what was wrong and right because no one said anything. All he knew was that he did not lie nor’ did he seduce anyone. The experience was not the beginning of this though, a peer was. “Studies of peer influences have focused on the impact that sexual activity of peers may have on adolescents’ sexual behavior” (Friedlander 823). This means that one’s peers can also have an influence in shaping one’s romantic future and even their sexual behavior. Pozdyshev’s brothers’ friend was the one who brought them to the brothel. If it were not for him, Pozdyshev probably would have a different view on women and even love. Jean Piaget was an early psychologist who specialized in child development from the 1920s onward. According to Piaget’s Theory of Cognitive Development, there are four stages of development. In the sensorimotor stage (first stage), usually from 0 to 2 years, infants start exploring the world around them using their senses. In the preoperational stage (second stage), usually from 2-7 years, children begin to discuss things about their past. During this stage, children display five key behaviors: imitation, symbolic play, drawing, mental imagery, verbal evocation of events. Just like what was mentioned before, Pozdneyshev was introduced to a brothel at such a young age. His views upon women started then. This being said, Pozdneyshev ended up having a certain view on what love is. He saw a different side and view of women at the brothel that he did not know existed which led him to think that “Every man experiences what you call love for every pretty woman” (166). He lost his virginity and not even the elders told him it was wrong or right which left him so conflicted. Piaget is basically trying to say that the experiences a child goes through at a young age can stick to them as they grow older and may or may not affect them. In Tolstoy’s The Kreutzer Sonata, Pozdneyshev as an old man, is having a conversation with an old lady and a lawyer about whether love is real or not. The lady thinks that love should be the basis of marriage while Pozdneyshev thinks that how a man looks at a woman and how they are arranged by their parents should be the basis of the marriage. As you can see, Pozdneyshev’s childhood has strongly affected him in the way he views love.

Sigmund Freud was apparently an unhappy man and had lots of frustrations. This state of his led him to activate a sense of deep insights into the sources of human unhappiness. He believes that human personality has more than a single component. So, it is composed of three elements known as the id, the ego, and superego. These three elements work together to create human behaviors. According to Freud, the id is the only component present from birth and it also driven by the pleasure principle. The pleasure principle makes us strive for the things we want and if we do not get what we want, it results in a tension or even anxiety. We can tell that the pleasure principle affects Pozdneyshev because he became jealous when he saw the music teacher as his opponent. Pozdneyshev proceeds to then murder his wife because the tension within him kept of growing and growing till the point he became so desperate. Instead of a happy family life he expected, his marriage turned out to be toxic and only connected because of lust.

Another component I have mentioned in Freud’s theory was the superego. The superego begins to emerge around the age of 5 and it basically gives us our sense in what is right or what is wrong. The superego has two parts and one of those parts is the conscience. The conscience has information about things that are viewed negatively by parents and society. These behaviors are not allowed which leads to feelings of guilt or even bad consequences. Pozdneyshev murdering his wife has brought him so much guilt especially when he finally was able to see her as a human being. This brings us up to why he believes that he should have never married a woman.

Pozdneyshev’s reason to even get married in the first place was just off of looks. “Here is how the widower Pozdnyshev describes a memorable outing with his future wife, which resulted in a ‘‘closeness’’ leading to their engagement and, eventually, marriage: ‘One evening, after we had been out in a boat, and had returned by moonlight and I was sitting beside her admiring her curls and her shapely figure in a tight-fitting jersey, I suddenly decided that it was she! It seemed to me that evening that she understood everything, everything that I felt and thought, and that what I felt, and thought was most lofty’ (Tolstoy, 1967: 369; 1982: 5:137)” (Wyman 148). This means that Pozdnyshev liked how her hair looked, and he liked the figure of her body. Based off only her physical appearance, he was okay and ready to say that she was the one. She is the girl he wanted to marry. This brings me to Aristotle’s view on love. Aristotle is a Greek philosopher who believed that it all starts off with seeing something you like. Which automatically catches your attention and looks appealing to you. What you see then affects your imagination because what you are looking at has become desirable. Which then leads to object overestimation. That image, that object, it conjures another image and that pleasure you have from seeing what you like, derails your mind so that it allows you to overestimate the object. Which then leads to desire to possess. Meaning that it causes the over beating of blood and it disturbs psychological balance. In this case, Pozdneyshev saw a woman and was attracted to her and he wanted her. This led to his engagement with her and then came marriage. Plato’s ladder of love also explains this situation. According to Plato’s ladder of love, one major aspect of falling in love is that you have to be attracted to the person you are in love with. Plato’s theory explains that the first step would be physical beauty. Physical beauty then intellectual beauty which would be the mind. In this situation, Pozdneyshev never got to the intellectual beauty step. He was attracted to her indeed, but it stopped right there. It was not until the end where he excepted her a person but by then it was too late. She was already on the verge of dying and said if she lived, she would never forgive him. “Indeed, during the first week of marriage Pozdnyshev comes to realize that marital union does not guarantee the utter transparency of the spouses’ souls to each other: ‘I think it was on the third or fourth day that I found my wife depressed. I began asking her the reason and embracing her, which in my view was all she could want, but she removed my arm and began to cry. What about? She could not say’… ‘. I did not understand that she was simply depressed, and her mother was merely an excuse’… ‘She told me she saw that I did not love her’ (Tolstoy, 1967: 379; 1982: 12:148)” (Wyman 149). This is basically saying that Wyman believes that Pozdnyshev realizes that marriage did not change the way his relationship would be with her. He hoped that he would have a happy marriage and that his wife and him would connect once being married. But that was all an illusion and the only thing he has with his wife is a physical connection.

As mentioned in the beginning, everyone has their own reasons to fall in love or why they chose to be in love, but your childhood also affects that. In First Love by Ivan Turgenev, Vladimir falls in love with Zenaida because he sees his father in her. His father gives him no sort of affection just like Zinaida, yet he loves her. Now why is that? Why does Vladimir love someone who treats him in a way that others would find rather unpleasant? Usually when you love someone, you would want the affection they give you and all their attention. Clearly Vladimir enjoys the way he is being treated, which makes him a masochist. A masochist is someone who likes pain. Masochists enjoy situations where others would find it painful and even unpleasant. “Zinaida continued to play cat and mouse with me. She flirted with me, and I was all agitation and rapture; then she would suddenly thrust me away, and I dared not go near her- dared not look at her” (Turgenev 17). Zinaida continued to push Vladimir away but then get dragged back to her. He wanted to give her space but the minute she would call him over he betrays himself and obeys her. Even though Vladimir knows that he is just getting toyed with, he continues to earn for her. Though Zinaida treats Vladimir not the way he would prefer to be treated, he cannot help but want her because he truly loves her despite her hurting him emotionally and physically. Being a masochist is not the only reason Vladimir is drawn to Zinaida, it is also like how I have mentioned before that he sees his father in her. This also can bring us back to Piaget’s Theory of Cognitive Development. Due to Vladimir’s childhood experiences, he is accustomed to the way things are. His definition of love is the way his father has treated him when he was younger. His father was always strict with him and did not give much attention or thought upon him. This was love; This is Vladimir’s love that he grew up with and will continue to seek for his future relationships. This is why Zinaida is to Vladimir’s liking because she also did not give him any sort of attention and she also held several other personality traits his father did.

Childhood experiences are crucial and a big part of a person’s life. Our parents are the most important figures because they play an important role in how we experience the world but also their love affects how we get into and choose future relationships. Whether it is just a friendship or a romantic relationship, we tend to associate with people the way our parents treated us. Just like how Vladimir went for Zinaida due to the similar traits she shared with his father. Pozdneyshev’s childhood experience was not the best because he was never taught his right from wrong and ended up doing the wrong things. This led to him marrying his wife and this also then led to him murdering his wife. This also led him to regretting even associated with his wife.

Work Cited

Wyman, Alina. “Discourse and Intercourse in The Kreutzer Sonata: A Schelerian Perspective.” Christianity and Literature, vol. 64, no. 2, 2015, pp. 147–170. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/26194816. Accessed 14 Dec. 2020.

Freud, Sigmund, and James. Strachey. The Ego and the Id . New York: Norton, 1990. Print.

Lefmann, Combs-Orme. “Early Brain Development for Social Work Practice: Integrating Neuroscience with Piaget’s Theory of Cognitive Development.” Journal of human behavior in the social environment 23.5 (2013): 640–647. Web.

Friedlander, Friedlander. “Biological, Familial, and Peer Influences on Dating in Early Adolescence.” Archives of sexual behavior 36.6 (2007): 821–830. Web.